A couple weeks ago, I experienced my second breakup with someone I really thought was "the one." I don't think all breakups have to end in screaming and fighting for it to be considered a "bad breakup"... and most likely, I feel that it was only me who took it so...I guess...harshly?
I never knew that I was someone so weak...ya know...those dramatic can't-eat and crying-randomly and heartache moments that you probably only see in Korean dramas (haha maybe I've just watched too many dramas and was dramatizing everything :P) when I think back to it now, it almost seems really stupid and silly, but I know that if I were to experience that breakup for a second time, I would only fall back into that depression I was in a couple weeks ago...
The first thought I had the moment it happened was "wow...he abandoned me." and I think that's a perfectly normally thing to feel at first. After a year and a half of being in a relationship with this person, you find yourself relying on this person for comfort and love and happiness. But when the breakup happens, everything just gets cut off all at once. It seems like your source of life has been suddenly cut off. I remember lying in bed alone crying knowing that while normally he would be there to console me and make me feel better, this time he would not be there to comfort me anymore.
What I didn't know was my selfishness throughout my times of being in a relationship. I myself had abandoned my friends and family maybe times and yet I found myself relying on them in my times of depression. Shockingly though, they were all willingly there for me. After a couple days of relying on the company and encouragement of others, I was slowly able to start getting up from the ground and stand on my own :)
It was definitely not an easy process and I fell back down many times :P I would constantly reminisce my times with him and just randomly feel disheartened when hearing or seeing certain things that reminded me of him. Little things such as a wave or friendly message from him gave me false hopes in "oh? maybe it's not completely over yet." And at times like this, my close friends whacked me in the head back into reality ^^''''
As of now, I can't really say that I am completely better because there are occasional times when I feel alone. But I know that the person that I dated a couple weeks ago is gone now. He's moved on, so now it's my turn, too.
For anyone who's going through the aftermath of a breakup like me, I wish you all the strength and happiness I can think of! Stay strong! You are more than the girlfriend or boyfriend of that guy or girl. You are an individual who deserves to be loved and cared for by someone who truly cares. Don't let your relationship become your source of happiness and find happiness in yourself, your friends, your family, your life. There is so much more in life than a romantic relationship :) Try to think of your time alone as a time to prepare your heart for someone even better and awesomer than your ex I can do it! You can do it! <3
Momo
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